~UMS~

2nd of july
d day i left home for my new journey of life...
took yoyo bus down to kl...
so happy to c hubby come...
he accompany me till v rch yoyo bus thr...
whn i rch..
d bus omos leave...
i cant spend vry long time wid him...
b4 get up onto d bus...
tears just rolled down n hugged hubby so tightly...
i dowana leave him..
i dowana leave home...
i dowana leave my family..
but i've no choive...
stepped onto d bus...
took d road tat kenot be turned bck...
once sit on d bus...
tears rolled down...
i'm sad..
luckily, mummy is thr wid me...

rch klia after 3 hours...
chked in n had lunch wid mummy...
but mummy nidda leave earlier as her bus is 2pm...
like expected...
mummy n i cried n hugged together...
missing her so badly...
for d pass 20 years i've not leave home...
20 yrs i've sleeping wid my mum side by side...
sudd my bed becomes a single bed n i'm alone...
i dowan dis type of life...
i wan mummy wid me...
T.T

went up to the air plane...
its a mas plane n it delayed for half an hour...
saw a few ums student oso taking d same flight as mine...
luckily i have pui yoong to accompany me...
or else i sure gonna b nervous n unsteady...
on d plane, i'm sad..
i cried once d flight started...
i wanna go down...
i wanna turn bck...
i miss mummy
i miss hubby
i miss my family...
i'm unhappy
not any sign of curiousness or happiness
all i noe what i wan is getting down from d plane n head home!!!
tears rolled down whn mummy n hubby sms me..
i miss both of them so much~

get down from d plane...
rch d air port..
registered again...
hubby sms me...
i cried again... silently...
waited 4 d bus to fetch us to ums..
waited an hour..
but no feeling at all...
cz all in my heart is sadness n sadness!!!

once stepped into d sch..
its at nite...
d sch compound is so damm dark...
i have 2 big luggage tat consist of 27kg~
n i nidda shift tat 2 luggage ALONE to my room..
they din tell me whr is my blok...
they din tell me how to go..
just say u go up d stairs n u'll find d block...
damn!!!
i walked for more thn an hour just to go n find that idiot block...
i gave up...
i cried while finding my block
i cant find it...
its just like playing maze...
i'm scared...
afraid...
finally thr's a ghost block tat i tot its close...
no lights...
n i use my fon 2 light up tat sign board...
its written thr "BLOK E"
n thr's my block...
ok i've found it...
but to find my room it took me another 45mins..
1st stairs i go, 1st floor...
2nd stairs i go, 3rd floor...
damm whr's d 2nd floor...
just keep walking stairs up n down...
i still cant it..
d cring for an hour...
feeling afraid, helpless n lost...
luckily a gal came out, offered me to stay in her room for d night...
i feel safe...
went bck down to carry up my another luggege...
its so heavy tat i can feel my hands n legs can brk into half adi!!

sat at d room...
just cried n cried n cried...
told mummy hw's my condition...
cant believe i just told her
i wanna give up n go home...
i dislike here...
i dislike living alone...
no family no hubby~
n i'm missing him
if hubby is wid me, sure he'll hold my hands n guide me..
bt tat nite, no one guided me..
all i can do i giving myself d brave n strength to soilve thgs...
can i stand still for d 3 yrs??

nex day...
went bck to my own room
saw two malays in it...
oh ya they r my roommates...
as expected, all malays n a chinese..
y they so love satu malaysia??
at least give me a science student to stay wid me...
bt 3 of them oso art student.
my whole block oni left i'm d oni chinese...
who to ask??
who to help??
y other uni can chosse their roommate???
d worst is, my room's door is spoilt!!!!!
omg~~
i dowan wantan wid me...
at least wantan wid gud attitude...
i pray~

orientation started...
its tired..
food not nice at all...
i even get sick on d last day of orientation...
sigh~
whnever mummy n hubby text me..
tears start rolling down...
i miss them...
i miss them, alot...
whnever hubby 3g to me..
i'll cry after i off d fon..
i miss him...
i miss mummy...
bt i cant let them noe i'm so weak here,...
all i can ans them is
"dun wry i d adapt wid life here..cant u rmb i alwiz go camp??"
mayb i'm avoiding...
eventually i dun even dare to thk of them...
whn i thk i sure cry...
whn ever my grandpa, my aunt called me...
i'll tell them i'm doing vry ok here...
bt after i off d fon...
tears rolled down so quickly...
actually i miss them alot....
miss grandpa's cooking...
miss mummy's nagging..
miss ben n brit's argueing...
miss my aunt's laughing n nagging...
miss hubby's hugging n kissing...
i miss them so much...
but i cant let them wry bout me...
so dun wry i'll be doing fine here...
i hope~ i pray~

planned well to go home durin raya...
2 weeks brk...
d feel happy can meet hubby, meet mummy...
but whn i chked d price...
2 way ticket n bus fare cost rm600 plus...
i'm depressed n dissapointed...
text mummy n tell her i won b goin bck...
cz i wanna save mny...
600 is adi too much...
mummy cant afford to pay tat amount...
plus its oni 2 weeks...
dowana waste tat sum of mny...
tat sum adi is my hse half month d spending...
i'm sad n i'm cryng again..
i miss home so badly... =(
just can wait till dec-sem brk oni come bck...
i dowan dis ending ='(

2ml will b a free day...
goin out wid frens to buy thgs n mayb watch movie wid them..
i look enjoy bt actually i'm using time, not to thk bout them...
its torturing here...
i've get lost in uni...
n all i could c is pendatang asing in my uni compound..
whn i pass by them i jz pretend n walked so fast,...
guess they noe i'm running away from them...

i'm alone here...
having new frens but not close frens yet...
dun dare to trust them sked i'll be d 1 who get hurt..
but dun wry, i'll learn n grow up by gaining experience...

mummy, i love u the most n i'm missing you =(
hubby, i love u n i'm missing u so badly...
i need ur shoulder n ur comfort...
T,T
i miss HOME!!!

*pens off*

i'm crying while i'm typing dis post

its rolling down

crying silently

hugging ginger bread n our pic

pls dry off my tears

i need someone

i need you

i need comfort from you

i want you

i'm missing you